For a father, taking an active role in raising a teenage daughter is an overwhelming responsibility. So I look for sound, well-thought out advice wherever I can find it.

But the last place that I could have imagined would be the TV set. The sitcom “8 Simple Rules (for Dating My Teenage Daughter)” was not only good comedy, but it got me thinking about what rules should be in place when my daughter starts dating.

The show’s rules were:

1. Use your hands on my daughter and you’ll lose them after.
2. You make her cry, I make you cry.
3. Safe sex is a myth. Anything you try will be hazardous to your health.
4. Bring her home late, there’s no next date.
5. Only delivery men honk. Dates ring the doorbell. Once.
6. No complaining while you’re waiting for her. If you’re bored, change my oil.
7. If your pants hang off your hips, I’ll gladly secure them with my staple gun.
8. Dates must be in crowded public places. You want romance? Read a book.

My somewhat naive 15-year-old daughter Alison is on the verge of the inevitable — starting high school dating. Already some of her friends have been dating for a year or two and have suffered relationship breakups. One of her “dating” girl friends even told her the other day, “We gotta get you more interested in boys!”

What’s the rush? If she doesn’t date until 18 or 21 or 25 that is fine with me.

But then I began thinking that there are so many more rules that she needs to know. So, I started to comprise my own list and what emerged, according to Alison, are My 88 Overly Unrealistic Rules (for Dating My Teenage Daughter).

Here is just a sampling:

11. No body piercings, tattoos, long, unkempt, colored or spiked hair. If he looks the part of a beatnik or a punker, then he probably is one.
27. If you dated one of her girl friends, then you can’t date her. If they thought he was a loser, he probably is.
35. No out of town or overnight dates. Don’t even bother to ask.
41. Don’t try false flattery on me or my wife to get into our good graces. We know all the lines. Afterall, who do you think thought up most of them when we were teenagers?
43. You have a home of your own. So why are you practically living at my house? Go home!
55. When I glare at you, it’s not that I am trying to intimidate you. I just don’t like you.
67. Don’t call this house or my daughter’s cell phone after 10 p.m. on school nights/11 p.m. weekends. Failure to comply will result in disconnection of your service — as a boyfriend.
88. I reserve the right to make additional rules as the situation requires

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